So… Blightmare, wherever you are! Have you blighted any nightmares yet? What? Yes, I just slapped my head… This isn’t a game… Get busy, or I’ll…
Well, I could say thank you all for coming, but since this directive came from much higher up than any of the likes of you, let’s just say you had better have come. This is the first of a series of lectures intended to steel all our wills and fight the good fight that is yet before us. Hopefully our times together deep inside this huge, dark cavern will accomplish that. If not, we have other ways to punish such wimpish, useless imps as yourselves.
Yes, imbiciles, we are demons. We have been demons since that day millennia ago when we chose to abandon their grand usurper and join our dark leader. Because of our choice at that singular point in time, we became demons, we are demons, we always will be demons. We can never do or be anything else. Wear that name like a badge — yes, “Demon,” and don’t ever forget. That is our grand destiny!
We have our own loose heirarchy among us, although fights among even the leadership are not uncommon. This constant struggle for supremacy, mastery among us, trampling our opponent down so we can advance, our dark leader cheers that on. That way, only the strongest, most vile demons maintain leadership of us, of you, of our cause. Our dark leader intends it to stay that way; this will assure our ultimate victory. We each have varied and many talents and strengths, although time and choice can augment both — or dull them if you insist on sleeping under some rock somewhere, like it seems many of you have. We fight our way forward among ourselves to a point, but more importantly we fight our adversaries. What? No! This short lesson on terminology is not about us, you idiot. It is a reminder about THEM, and only such dolts as this audience would even need this reminder. Seriously, we have been at this for centuries… How could you… Well, rest assured that the better we do for the cause of darkness, the less important this whole topic becomes!
1. Their so-called king
Well, the grand usurper is a better name for him! He gave our dark leader the most exalted position, and then just took all that away for no reason. If you ask me, that makes him not the king, really the grand usurper, the traitor, the liar, regardless of what he has to say. Remember that, imbeciles. The one they call their king stole everything away from our dark leader. No wonder our dark leader rebelled. Honestly, each and every one of us would have done the same thing as our dark leader. What? Of course we are out to take the heavens back; that was our dark leader’s domain. And we won’t stop fighting until we take over everything, everyone. We are all fighting to help our dark leader, or ‘his darkness’ as he likes to be called; to help him get back what is rightfully his. He deserves it. And their king calls us liars!
There is this messy business that it seems we always have to get this phony king’s permission for doing a lot of what we do. And if we just try things without that permission, such plans invariably fail, unless we actually get it right (urp), what their phony king actually wanted after all… This disgusting, fragile balance evidently can’t be helped, at least for now. So, we act dumb and play along, and plot behind the scenes for the next time. But we look forward to a day soon when even that will be overcome. Yes… by us of course… Kraken…
2. Their so-called savior
I need to tip-toe lightly here, so you had better too. After centuries of such wonderful and amazing growth of our influence, we all realized the danger their Jesus was to us, to our cause. Jesus was supremely different, and seemed so immune to so many of our attacks. It was like they just bounced off or something. Well, we did finally succeed in getting him killed, and as that night fell, we all let out a sigh of relief. But a few days later… Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that part among the dull gathered here.
Listen carefully, puny imps. Jesus was just a man! That is all you really need to know. Your limited grasp of so many areas may be of some usefulness here. So, say it with me “Jesus was just a man!” Spread that grand fact far and wide. We will actually reward you for doing just that! What? No, you idiot… In your case, probably by slightly less pain… GET TO WORK!
3. Their so-called salvation
Maybe I should just skip this one too… Well, Hm… Ok, do this. Since you are all so dull, just remember this. What they call this salvation, it is so far in the distant future so as to be insignificant, irrelevent. Dolts, that means their salvation has absolutely no importance for the here and now, the life they are living. We coined a phrase about this, decades ago now, but you have probably forgotten… “Pie in the sky, by and by…” Maybe Blightmare’s amazing Uncle had a hand in this clever device. I should make you write it… Nevermind… Besides, once we take over, take our heavens back, what they think they will get after they die… That will be one grand, gloriously cruel joke!
4. The vile evil of what they call ‘christian living’
I cannot spare you from all of the painful truths… Listen carefully…
Their king is pretty powerful, for now anyway. But, and this is a great evil… When one of these poor, mislead earthlings… What? Yes, you idiot… The ones we need to win back; I’m talking about the ones, the few we don’t already own… Wow… Where have you been…
When one of these poor mislead earthlings actually pay attention, and read… spend time together, and… uhm… pray… Well, their king actually helps them, sometimes powerfully, and further limits our successes, in their lives, and around them. MARK MY WORD IMPS — THAT MUST BE STOPPED! Earthlings that actually do that… what they are told by their king… Well, they are very dangerous to us, to everything we are fighting for. Well, I have probably told you enough, far more than you will ever remember. We will talk about this more. Fortunately, humans like this are few in number, and becoming fewer by the minute.
5. Bah… the bib– I can’t even bring myself to say that word
Well, as hard as we tried, we simply could put a stop to the putting together of this dreaded book. It is like, all by itself, these disgusting writings, and the singular truths they held… Wait, no, LIES! It is a book full of lies, and it just seemed to put itself together. Well, we couldn’t stop that.
But we have, through centuries, found great minds to cast billowing clouds of question over what the phony kings followers consider their sacred text. I love this! We have originated some of the most rediculous means to “conclusively” prove that it is just a normal, even poorly written book, haphazardly strung together over centuries, re-written many times over, as the need arose, as tastes changed. We couldn’t stop it, but we are doing everything in our power to discredit it. How about this? There are now SO MANY “translations” available, and some are down-right devilish! Yes! And, not only that, but now there are SO MANY OTHER BOOKS available to read, to distract, to disprove… This is GRAND! Finding their [sneer] “sacred text” is so much like finding a needle in a haystack! [laughter] What? [slaps head] Go find out what a haystack is in a library… And now with this new thing they call the Internet… Maybe I should do a lecture just on that… Still, books are becoming passé anyway, useless really, and it is all about what you see (not read) on your computer screen any more. Reading skills have been rapidly plummeting as a result. Their “sacred text” will soon be buried at the very bottom of the trash pile of history, and good riddance, too! So many lies… Then all anyone can find will be our truths! Yes, that day can’t come soon enough.
6. Their dreamy-eyed future myth
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUS! “Whatever” they think that their “grand usurper” leader has promised, we have succeeded in hurling all those details FAR INTO THE FUTURE! By then we will rule the roost, alongside our dark leader. Any future plans they thought they had… VANISHED!!! All GONE!!! [Hearty laugh] Wow, I love that!
Still, idiots, the task was harsh, and we need the likes of you to keep our foot-hold here. You absolutely MUST convince EVERY human you are around, especially those who think they are… ugh… “saved…” None of that has ANY bearing on their present. They can simply do their own thing, whatever they want, WHATEVER THEY PLEASE! And, guess what! We can honestly say that, because we will take their future hope away anyway! Isn’t that oh, so devilish? Well, even puny imps like you can get a piece of that action. Yes, we are counting on legions of the more dull among us, those weak demons whose focus has to be [sigh] singular… DO THIS IF NOTHING MORE!!! Say it with me “Salvation is ONLY about the distant future…” LOUDER you morons! Ah, much better.
7. Our worst nightmare…
Yes, we fear a few things… If you ever see this… One of these humans sitting, kneeling, even worse, over their bib… Only a quick look inside them, in their hearts, revealing love for their king, and maybe tears of concern for the needs of those around them… SOUND THE ALARM! Report such to your dark learders right away. These thankfully now few members of the opposition present GRAVE DANGER! Did you get that you cave full of morons? In the past, many of our lot have been thrust prematurely to the abyss by such… It is our dark lord’s intention that worthless humans like this be handled by the most skilled, higher up demons. You idiots need to report them IMMEDIATELY, then run far away.
We have ways! Yes, I am smiling! We have means to accomplish our task of neutralizing them, at least interfering with them, but such secrets are far beyond miserable imps like you. What? No, I can’t tell you, and won’t. What? “Why?” you say? “Why?” you whine? Seriously? [Ka-Whump] Yes, scream you little pawns. There are many aspects of our fight, tools, deceptions, interventions — so many of these are not for the dull such as yourselves. Grow strong in wickedness, then maybe… Listen carefully, YOU ARE DEMONS! [Ka-Whump] WE OWN YOU NOW! Just like great Chess, we will use our pawns as we please. You have no other alternative. You can never change. So maybe GET BUSY!
A-hem. Any more questions? GOOD. Although, I rather like causing pain, even if only in dismal imps such as yourselves.
Well, that is the opposition in a nut-shell. Surely the likes of you should be able to appreciate a few of these points. Well, you had better. This is an open invitation to all stronger demons to quiz puny, weak demons like you at any time, and punish you severely should you mess up. So, maybe you and the rest of our weak imps should study this some. What? Yes, I mean that, you morons…
(c) 2017 by ACR