I started my time up here in the Angel Court like I usually did. I sat on the ledge, opened my little notebook, turned it on, started a new file… I knew what I wanted to cover, and so I started in… I felt Yahweh God… smile…


Oh… my… goodness! How could we have lost such an amazing gem! Really, how in the world could we have let this go? And, yes, I can see people getting to the end of their lives, realizing they have never found this, and…

Ok, first read the post about the Creation of the Woman. There we found that Yahweh God’s design goal for the woman was to be the man’s “Neged”, well they were to be each other’s “Neged”. This term indicates close spatial proximity, favoring directly in front. If you picture a man and a woman facing each other, living facing each other as much as possible, I think this alone does justice to the word neged, the concept, Yahweh God’s original intent. And the rest of the words used to describe the woman all gather around this same idea. “For this cause a man shall abandon his mother and father, and be glued to his woman.” The man and his woman, one flesh, always together, package deal, Yahweh God’s goal, His smile!

Note firstly that, for a man and a woman who consider themselves “deeply in love”, this scenario is EXACTLY what they want, what they prefer, what they will pursue, and they will hug more and more as time passes, and do more and more together with each passing day. We all know, it is buried deeply in our souls, that which is the pinnicle, the most amazing way for a man and a woman to experience each other — being together as much as possible, as close as possible, hugging as much as possible… Nobody needs to tell us any of this. We all know this is true. Characterizing this more sharply, a man and a woman who are ever more deeply thriving on being each other’s “negedi”; THIS is the epitome of human experience, the joy and pleasure around which all other pursuits pale in comparison. Enjoying your Negedi… There is no greater thing in human existance. And two people experiencing this, they will scoff at those other pursuits… money… fame… whatever… These two have and enjoy what nothing can buy… Like I said, we know deep inside this is true! And people who seem to have everything in life, but have failed to attain this… They end life so miserably… Our desperate yearning for this pursuit of our “negedi”, it is burned on our souls it seems. Just about every other pursuit is for a lesser thing…

Note secondly that this actual experience, a man and a woman being each other’s “Negedi”, THIS IS VERY RARE, and when it does occur, it is VERY SHORT-LIVED. The overwhelming majority of marriages all down through history have wildly failed to achieve this amazing thing, and have generally devolved into something extremely painful and even horrible. And so many of those marriages that have lasted decades, have done so, either because one has silently swallowed oceans of pain, or because both agreed to accept something far less than Yahweh God’s intent for marriage. Given all this, it is no wonder that cultures all down through history have severly twisted marriage, and even abandoned it altogether, and even seem content in our day to substitute the momentary pleasure of human sexual release for that which is indescribably better…

Note thirdly that, as Yahweh God prescribes, describes HIS goal for a man and a woman at their creation, for their lives together, He makes no attempt at explaining how such an amazing thing can be attained. Yahweh God made the woman because the man needed “Negedo” (his Neged), and the woman surely needed her man, her Neged too. And every single man and woman that followed Adam and Eve… deep down in our souls, we absolutely know we all need this, our Neged. But, when originally created, we were not told HOW to attain, and more importantly, to keep, to sustain this amazing gem… This is not to say it was never attained; we know both from history and our own experience that a few lucky souls somehow found a way, maybe for a while… But there HAS to be a better way to attain this gem, more than just “trial and error”, one life at a time…

There is!

With the post about the Creation of the Woman in mind, trace these thoughts.

a. Read the “Salvation Is” post. Salvation is basically accepting (believing, resting in) the Kingship of Yahweh God through Messiah Jesus. Surrendering ourselves to Yahweh, our heavenly Father should be the inevitable result of what HE did for US, sending His own Son do die for our sins. After realizng we are sinners, after realizing that Yahweh God provided the precious perfect sacrifice for us, putting HIM first in everything, THAT should be our goal forever. (Radical transformation, not very popular…)

b. Read the “Salvation Does” post. Serving other people here on this planet is absolutely no problem to those who have shucked their rebel selves, and committed wholly to live for Yahweh God in Jesus’ Name. And, bringing in the Agapao Watermark post, we realize that the Agapao love that both characterizes Yahweh God’s love for us, and should characterize our love for each other here on this planet… How many different ways do we need to read that Yahweh God wants His children to serve one another, put each other first, ahead of themselves! (Another radical transformation, and even less popular…)

Ok, so now!

What is the most basic characteristic of “young love”, a boy and a girl in their teens, falling in love, maybe for the first time? They each do anything they can to please the other. Generally this is done out of the fear of losing the amazing treasure opening up before them. But the key is, what brings them together, keeps them together is… each doing anything they can to please each other. This isn’t rocket science! And, as long as both keep doing that…

Wow, lets pull that out — each doing anything they can to please each other. This is just like… Hey! If both the man and the woman are committed to serving Yahweh God, and both are committed to serving the people around them… Then, together… they bring that same committment to serve each other

Oh… WOW!

a. Establish: A man and a woman, two followers of Yahweh God through faith in Messiah Jesus… if they are already committed to serving the people around them, putting the people around them ahead of themselves… and they bring that same committment to their relationship to each other, they will… each be doing anything they can to please each other, consistantly… increasingly… sensitively… lovingly… These two will delight in being each other’s… Negedi!

b. Maintain: Since this true friendship, their base of servanthood to each other is rooted outside themselves, is anchored in heaven, in their relationship with Yahweh God in Jesus’ Name — it will be permanent!

And the passage of time will just cement their relationship ever closer, ever stronger, ever more fulfilling… They will love and serve Yahweh God by increasingly, more lovingly being… each other’s “Neged”!!!


THIS is Christian Marriage, what it is supposed to be. Yahweh God spelled out the design goal in the book of Genesis, and a few found their way to it through history, but it was the sacrificial death of Messiah Jesus that busted open the door for ANYONE on this planet to return to Yahweh God, commit to serve Him, then serve those around him or her…

…and then find and serve their own Neged!!!

…for decades!!!


And notice, we haven’t even talked about sexuality at all yet! That is an important part of the Neged relationship, part of “close spatial proximity favoring right in front!” I think the original audience clearly understood that. Still, I fear that increasingly, followers of Yahweh God in our day are viewing human sexuality as a necessary evil, and that enjoying it might be somehow wrong. What a horrible tragedy! And no wonder unbelievers around us are… I think a different post will be necessary to specifically deal with that. But for a man and a woman who are ever more deeply enjoying each other’s presence, affection, giving, closeness, neged… sexuality will just be an amazing extension to all of that, the capstone even, a more amazing way of giving, serving, loving each other, growing stronger and more amazing as the years go by!


Ok, two important qualifications:

a. The glue that sustains the Negedi marriage gem is selflessly serving each other, consistently putting each other first. You do not necessarily need Yahweh God or His Son to do this. However, without dealing with both person’s flesh, their rebel self, the resulting “serving each other” will always be “hit and miss”, guarded, clouded by the fear, perception of schemes, motives… It will have NO ANCHOR. Only Yahweh God can deal completely with our insides so gutted by sin, to where we can actually rest on each other’s serving, giving…

b. On the other hand, just because both are “Christian”, this does NOT mean they will put each other first. In fact, in our days, it seems like such a notion as surrender, serving, such are not very popular… among Christians! Well, no wonder marriages are, Marriage is in such trouble. We are supposed to be showcasing just a little bit of Heaven… Instead, the opposite is all too often the result… This surfaces a sobering advisory for Christian Marriage that cannot be stated strongly enough! Unless both husband and wife are increasingly deposing the rebel self, and truly putting Yahweh God and each other first, their marriage will fail, no matter how many marriage encounters or hours of counseling… This amazing thing called Christian Marriage cannot exist if either member refuses to displace the flesh… (If the marriage appears to be holding its own, that is because one of them is swallowing down oceans of pain… That… is not good… Or, both could be protecting their rebel self and content making other things first… How sad, but not “Christian Marriage”!) Both husband and wife increasingly surrendering to Yahweh God in Jesus’ name is a crucial pre-requisite for Negedi based Christian Marriage; this surrender has to come first, and continue unabated… Yes… Christian Marriage is permanently and firmly tied to developing spiritual maturity; would Yahweh God have it any other way?!?!?


Heaven on earth, that is the point, Yahweh God’s goal from Genesis on. Two servant hearts falling ever more deeply in love with each other as they simply and increasingly put each other first, serving each other… This results in the Negedi that Yahweh God introduced in Genesis, devotion linkages between each other! These two lives will be more hopelessly, joyously intertwined with each passing day! And we all know deep inside we really want, need that. Christian Marriage… is the closest we can come to heaven on this planet! Just ask the two, they will tell you. Yes, heaven on earth…

— ACR, c2018



Ok, so the dark, solumn music needs to come on now…

a. If you are already married… …You cannot frivolously bail your marriage to try and find this… You can only find Yahweh God, your heavenly Father through faith in Jesus, then increasingly serve those around you, and PRAY that Yahweh God will intervene in some way… even if that means swallowing down oceans of pain for years (been there)… There are no other options. Besides, if you have shucked your rebel self, and are serving Yahweh God, serving Him however, wherever He chooses, this should not be a problem –tortuously hard, but still doing what Yahweh God wants; that needs to be the focus. Serve Him where you are, pray diligently, and leave the rest in His hands. He is the only one that can do anything about this anyway.

b. If you are not YET married… Wow, don’t just jump in… to anything, jump in bed with… anyone! There is SO MUCH AT STAKE!!! And YES, ignore what you see on TV and movies, sex IS NOT love (not even close…) First, find Yahweh God through Messiah Jesus. Then, increasingly displace your own rebel self, and learn how put Yahweh God first and increasingly serve those around you; just be a true friend! Yes, this is simple spiritual growth! Then… PRAY that Yahweh God, your precious heavenly Father will bring… your neged! He or she MUST be a believer in Jesus, also increasingly serving Yahweh God and those around… DON’T ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS !!! It WON’T be worth it…


Funny how we can only find what is good, best for us by doing things God’s way…

And, wow… You can’t take, buy or steal your Neged… That… will shatter the possibility even…



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